It is four thirty and I'm awakened by a loud annoying noise. I reach over and knock the alarm clock off the bedside table. I lay for a few minutes trying to think of a good reason why I do this every weekend. Leaving that thought behind, I get up and make my way to the coffee pot. As always, I slide down the majority of the middle stairs. I have now drunk about half a pot of coffee, and might be able to speak with the other half of the house. The first comment I receive this morning, as I have for the last five years, "Are you going hunting this morning?" I think to myself, "Is the sun coming up? Does a bear poop in the woods? Are you breathing?" Of course I'm going hunting. I spend the next twenty minutes putting about three layers of clothes on. I now realize I am ready to start my day.
I find myself weaving in and out of old trails as branches slap me in the face. There are a few times I wonder as a female, "Why I am not in bed waiting for the beauty salon to open?" Yes, I could use a manicure or about 20 minutes in a tanning bed. I know my stand is about 25 yards ahead. I hear something. My thoughts wonder to the fear I keep in the back of my mind. Is it that large fox I saw from the stand one day, or could it be a coyote? My mind is thinking of the salon again. I see my stand and know I will be safer once I reach it. I feel my feet going faster at this time. I think about Richard's great statement, "You know you're just a girl". He would thrive on the panic in my eye at this time. I know in his heart, he is proud of me. You can see it every time he shows off a picture of me with a new buck. I have now made it up in my stand, "my safe place". I get in and arrange everything so I can get to it with as little movement as possible. I have now been sitting for about an hour and a half. I have not seen anything except squirrels and rabbits. I sit and wonder, "Why do I do this? There are so many things I need to do at the house." I've gotten very cold by now, even to the point of shaking. My back is hurting and I don't think I will ever feel my butt again. I check my watch, another hour has gone by. By now I can't feel my toes, and my fingers are so cold I'm not sure I could pull the trigger on my release.
Then I here the sounds I have been waiting for. I'm realizing that all the stupid thoughts in my mind have vanished. I see a couple of birds fly up. The sound of the squirrels barking is getting closer. I can feel my heart beating faster at this moment. I now hear some steps on the left-hand side of the stand. At this point, I know something is coming in. I can feel the blood pounding in my veins. My heart has started to pound even faster. My mind keeps telling me to calm down. Breathe; breathe slowly. At this time I do not care about the beauty salon. Right now all I can think about is "how many points, or how much will it weigh?" I have already got a smile on my face and I have done nothing. I'm thinking of bucks from the past. My eye is darting back and forth, looking for the first glimpse of my next trophy buck, the one that will put that smile on Richard's face again.
By now, my hands are shaking and I AM ABOUT TO BUST. Then I see the branches separate, in comes a doe. I find myself calming down. In my mind I think, well it's bow season and does are allowed. I bring my bow up, and just before I aim, I hear another sound. I look up, and from the same trail the doe entered, in walks a young yearling with nubs on his head. The nubs are so small they have not broken through the hide. I know in my heart he still needs his mom. I slowly lower the bow and release the draw. I sit watching both, mother and son, from my stand for about 15 minutes. I have not felt peace like this in anything else that I have ever done. I know one day he will make a great trophy buck. It may be mine, my granddaughter's, or even some stranger's. I will never know.
When walking home, I know I am going home empty-handed. But thank you, God, for that amazing rush. It is the rush that no alcohol or drug could ever give a man or woman. The pleasure of such a feeling that you know only God can give you naturally. Yes, I know where I will be next weekend and it will not be the beauty salon. It will be out there in the woods, because my friend, it can't get much sweeter than that.
